I am quickly learning that there is a time and place for both Control and going with the Flow.
Just like trying to control everything in Life, its a little difficult to "control" much on the internet – outcomes, comments, changes. And really is it necessary?
You just cant control what is going to happen on your blog, what comments people make (actually you can block them and delete them – but does that help you or them grow – another blog post there).
And to a degree you cant control who opts in and out… so you just have to go with the flow. Much like life. Do you have control over your life – like really – whatever you want goes your way.. total control. I wonder!
I have always been a little of a control addict. I like to plan for any contingency… which is a pain at times because taking an umbrella and overcoat out on a really nice day can be a drag.. but you have to be in control Right?
WHATS THAT ABOUT – YOU TELL ME.
So I got to working through that control thing. I like to dig into stuff. I ask questions like – how come, and my favorite – Whats that about?
Long before I started my internet marketing journey I thought I had it sorted. My Mentor Andrea Goodsaid from the Mastermind Partner Program inspired me one day in a conversation we were having.
You see, I was struggling with what to do next, what would happen if I did that, what wouldnt happen when I did that, what if someone opted in and I didnt have the "stuff – product" ready to give them… and she said just go with the flow…. Ouch.
What a learning curve.. so out of my comfort zone.
I didnt realise what an impact the need to be in control was having on my productivity (or lack thereof), and how I work. Needing to know that what ever I do is going to make sense, work out and what step is next is really tiring. An element of control is necessary – so you dont just flit off chasing sparkly things.. and also so you are productive – thats when control is terrific. And Control is the wrong word – Focus is more to the point.
Going with the flow is also good, because it doesnt limit you to a set direction and you are able to tailor your product to suit your niche.
THE NEED TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF
Before you can feel comfortable with being in control or going with the flow, it is in my opinion, best to consider why either method pushes you out of your comfort zone. Obvisouly, if you prefer to be in control, going with the flow will push you out of your comfort zone and vice versa. At least when you understand your reasons for feeling uncomfortable letting go becomes easy, because you understand why you need to be in control.
THE NEED TO BE IN CONTROL
Basically, for me, and in my experience of working with people, it always about a lot of deeper things. Often things that people arent even aware of and when you point it out they say. "No, thats not right, I just like to be organised". I go, yeah.. I know that was me. Eventually, they begin to think about it and then its like – well yeah you were right. Again!.
So whats it mean to be in control? Well lets look at it this way – Whats it say about you – when your not in control.
First, Id just like to clarify "control" for the purpose of this conversation. If you are in control – heres the picture – your life is running smoothly, you have no hiccups, everything that needs to be done is done, there is no stress, you get more done than you plan, people see you as organised, capable, on top of things. Thats my picture of control. Out of control – well, thats what your like when no one is watching…. running around screaming like a banchee, attacking everyone who has the opposite opinion to you, feeling like you're the only one in the world who has sooooo much to do, whilst everyone else just lulls around making more work for you. Get the picture.
So when I dug into whats being in control all about, heres what I came up with.
I am capable, responsible, sensible, confident, organised, (keep digging) – ahh – blood – worthy or better yet – good enough. Yes at the bottom of all that control was a message that I wanted to send out – to prove to everyone that I am good enough, smart enough, worthy. Yet the thing that really matters isnt what others think or see, its how I felt – and in reality even if Im out of control.. Im still all of those things – it just that I dont feel like that when thats happening.
So the lesson is – you dont have to prove to anyone anything. You are good enough exactly how you are. Look at the impact your controlling actions have on those around you – you may not think it, but you really are holding them back. Just as importantly, you are holding yourself back, because if all your worried about is what others think – you wont do anything in case its not right or good enough. If you want to be a success in internet marketing – or network marketing you really cant afford to worry about being in control. Even if you want to be a success in business or an Entreprenuer – you so cant afford to control everyone and everything around you. Not only will you loose friends and business – you just wont go anywhere.
So get over that control thing – its not serving you. Put that energy into paying attention to what is really important – Focus on what you want. Start to believe in yourself – and others will too. Then you wont have to worry about planning for any contingency to prove that you are capable. It will show by your success.