Use This Easy to Do 3 Step Process on Giving Negative Feedback.

If you would like to find out about my experiences giving negative encouragement and negative feedback, watch the video below to hear my story and why I now advocate for expressing yourself.

Here is an easy to do 3 step process of Giving Negative Feedback  that should take all the stress and worry out of doing it and receiving it.  If you don't want to have to receive or give negative feedback ever again…  click this link to find out how to escape

Here is a quick video summing it up.. but don't forget to read on for more information 

Before I get into the process I recommend, Id just like to chat about a thing called the sandwich technique…  You layer your feedback by giving positive, negative, then positive.  This method works well, except often the  negative feedback is not taken on board because people feel cheated and mistreated and that the feedback is not genuine.   It can be seen as sneaky to cloak the bad amidst the good.

I want to take it one step further…

First  –  Make it about YOU…after all – your feedback is really about how a situation  affects you… you don’t want the person you are speaking to – to feel like you are blaming them for what they have or have not done…

This is probably one of the rare occasions when you can make something all about you…J  Start with – Im uncomfortable,  I feel,  Im concerned, Im embarrassed, Im confused  or in the case of the feedback for my video you can start with Im impressed, inspired, motivated, moved..

And if you are on the fence – not wanting to give any feedback let alone negative feedback yet you still may have to give some feedback and aren’t sure what words to use try these non-commital examples.     Im gobsmacked,   Im amazed,  Im lost for words… Im totally in awe of how…

You get the picture.  By the way – the TONE you use also has to be considered – as the word itself may not hold any impact but the way it’s said  – with or without sarcasm – holds a lot of impact…

Next…. Share your concerns… how it affects you… how you felt, (you have to get in touch with your own inner feelings here – because quiet often – something can bother you and you don’t know exactly why   – and just as a side here –  once you work out why things bother you  – they usually stop bothering you!)

It makes it so much easier to express yourself.

Then – throw in some positive things – you do this well, you do that well,   Ive noticed this….

Then add the balone –  But this needs to improve, or be done differently, or change..

Then finish with   more positive,  I know you’ll be able to get this to work out in the future…   I appreciate you taking this on board…

If the feedback is just dumped on you in a negative way, it becomes a blamefest,  a criticism, and just falls on deaf ears.   After all we can all beat ourselves up enough about what’s wrong with us – without having someone else come along and say – Oh you didn’t do that very well…

And your first reaction to that is  – Well, but..  YOU didn’t  do this or that..  and then it spirals out of control from there.  Or Well what makes you think your any good at it either..

So remember..

Giving negative feedback is all about you – take the responsibility for the outcome… you will be doing someone a great favour.   Its all about YOU… how you feel, how it affects you and what you would like to see done differently next time…

Surround your feedback with positive emotions and make sure you follow up to when things DO change..   Don’t just give feedback and expect it to happen…  for the best results  always see how people are going…   How’d you manage with such and such.. did it work out.?  You may be interested in this article also on How to Turn Negative Feedback Into A Positive.

GIVING NEGATIVE FEEDBACK IN WRITING CAN BE DIFFICULT ALSO,  BUT NOT WITH THIS PROCESS.

It works just as well written as spoken to by the way.   Though can be a misconstrued as people put their tone to it.

So Im really looking forward to some great comments and feedback below on this article.

By the way – if you are tired of receiving or giving negative feedback and you want to escape the rat race and stop having to deal with negative feedback.. check out this link to see how to go about getting away from it

Check out this link to see how to get away from giving or receiving negative feedback ever again.