One of the most amazing things about hanging out with like minds (either in what I call  “real”  life or on facebook) – is that you begin to think differently and feel differently about the things that are going on for you.

That’s why – all the personal development programmes at some stage will advocate for you to look at the people you are associating with and assess how it’s working for you.

Remember – we attract that which we believe and think about.

So – ok you are doing a tonne of personal development – or maybe you are doing none at all  – you just make a conscious decision one day to maintain positive thinking. .

Hows that going to work, when – you go to work and all your workmates absolutely hate being there – it brings you down… you go home and your spouse is stressing out about the host of outstanding bills – and fearing getting the power cut off.     Your best friend has just split with their partner and they have absolutely nothing healthy to say about each other  – and even the garden is full of weeds instead of flowers in bloom.

Life looks pretty darn depressing and negative sometimes.  So how do you cut the crap…

Here's an article I wrote earlier on Is Negative Thinking Safer than Positive Thinking

SIMPLE.. just let it go, walk away.. Done dusted.

Often its just not that easy to stop thinking negatively or to leave the negative thinking people out of your life.  

Remember your status?  That place that keeps you safe from all harm, perceived or real.   In a way the comfort zone of you.   How you define yourself is by those around you.   So you pretty much just cant walk away from your life.   Its not really that simple – is it?   Besides if you are just going to walk away – who will you be?

If that negative person or situation is someone who you happen to love dearly – or something you just cant give up that easily – what can you do?


There is no way on this planet that you will ever get them to see things differently.   All the ranting and raving, yelling and screaming – logical presentations under the sun are not going to help them to change their thinking.

Remember that we are in our comfort zones – safe in our status of knowing what is going on for us – there are no perceived threats. So we maintain our negative thought patterns and are locked forever unable to change to positive thinking.

The only way you will be able to work with this is  – to change your own reaction to the situation., by looking for the hidden silver lining in the situation.   Uncertainty creates fear – or a threat.  The uncertainty of becoming a positive thinker – or whether you will be able to maintain positive thinking – could be quiet upsetting – so best to keep thinking safely negative.    After all, if I dont dare dream that there is a silver lining – I wont be disappointed.

You may be thinking –  but how can I be a positive thinker when "things" are out of my control. 

Yes I agree.. knowing the outcome of events, makes it much easier to think positively.  Being certain of the outcome, may even allow us to make different kinds of decisions.  This then comes back to the whole – perceived status.  How do you see yourself… if you feel safe in a situation – on an even par with people – you may feel more certain of the outcome – and in control.

That is why we hang with like minds – we are safe, we relate to the others in the group, and believe that we will be treated fairly – thus we can maintain the attitude of choice.      If the group is a negative thinking bunch as opposed to a positive thinking bunch – you can only imagine the atmosphe.   I know where I would rather be.       Negative thinking people drain your energy, deplete you of your enthusiasm and crush your dreams. 

(TIP – consider changing who you hang out with (or at the very least – lessen contact – if you cannot maintain a positive mental attitude around them) 

AN ALTERNATIVE TO LEAVING negative thinkers behind..

As you grow as a person – on a personal level – you will realise why things bug you and you can let them go – and in turn not react to others reacting to situations.

Its kind of a cycle…     bad thought –  reaction… more bad thoughts – over reaction… bad thought – reaction… and on and on

If you can throw into the mix a little – positivity – or simply – just say  – that may be your experience – but I choose to see it differently…   we will have to agree to disagree… and move on, this allows them the space to hold onto their status – you are not demeaning them, or "big noting" yourself.   You are accepting others as they are (creating a safe fair environment) – for them to be who they are – and through example – they may begin to look for ways to think positively or discover a positive mental attitude. 

The reason is – that whatever people believe is true – really is true for them.  Each of our experiences are unique to us.. and negative or not –  until you decide to see things differently – or to look for the silver lining…  the negativity remains.