As a kindhearted person, who loves helping others, I saw RED when I read this post on facebook the other day.

“Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them.  You have to figure out who’s worth your kindness and who’s just taking advantage.”

Imagine a world where kindhearted people did not exist. A world where helping others consisted of only being kind to those who were “worthy” of our kindness…


It is true, not everyone will appreciate what you do for them. In fact, it could be said that most people don’t appreciate anything you do for them.

In case you aren’t quiet up on the definition of kind-hearted, here are some synonyms for you to consider when you are deciding if someone is worthy of your kindness.

Considerate,  Compassionate, Thoughtful, Amiable, Gracious, Warmhearted, Generous, Amicable, Good Natured, Humane, Kind, Merciful, Soft hearted, Sympathetic, Tender, Warm and Tenderhearted to name a few.

Just so you are clear – kindhearted antonyms are: Mean, Nasty, Unsympathetic to name a few.  You can go to the kindhearted thesaurus to get more related words. 


So why be choosey who you are kind to?

If we were only kind to those who “deserved” our kindness, my guess is that there would not be to many reciprocates of kindness.   If only the “worthy” require kindheartedness, then how do you quality.

Watch this video and see if there is anyone there who is not deserving of kindness.

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Are you worthy if you are:

  • homeless or disadvantaged
  • have fallen from grace
  • suffered a life changing experience
  • don’t help others

Are you only worthy if you appreciate the act of kindness, or the kindheartedness show?

Seriously, if you only are kindhearted, or do acts of kindness for your own benefit, or to be acknowledged – what is the point of being kind.

Surely giving is better than receiving.

In giving you receive anyway – if people appreciate your kindness, then you get two bites of the cherry – once for being kind,  and helping others and again when they say thank you! 

If you are into helping others, then you may see where I am coming from saying that this quote is not positive.   It suggests that we only help those who are worthy.

Yes, be careful that you are not taken advantage of – of helping other who do not value your time, or appreciate your efforts, but do not begrudge them.  Set boundaries and let them know that you are not a charity.

Either give your kindness to everyone – or no one.   Do not choose who is worthy, simply because everyone deserves kindhearted treatment, everyone deserves kindness and help.


The dictionary definition of being Kindhearted means  to come from a kind disposition, to show a generous, kind and gentle nature.  To be considerate and helpful nature.

My point is – be kind to everyone for you never know what you may be going to receive.


Kindhearted examples aren’t that hard to come by, especially if you understand the definition of kindhearted.  The following is an explanation of a real life experience I witnessed, as an Encyclopedia salesperson in giving the gift of kindness.. and so much more.

My team and I decided to do a stand in a major shopping centre.. we had a great week.

We spoke to many likely candidates, shared the product and the benefits of it with many – even sold a few sets.

Our stand was clean, and fun, presenting a high quality product, and we were professional.

We chose our prospects carefully as they walked past – they had children, they looked wealthy, intelligent even.

This particular day, a man walks up to the stand.  We saw him approach,  he wore no shoes, he had baggy clothes on, that hang like they had fitted once, but he had lost weight,  his hair was curly and unkept.    He even looked like he had not shaven for a couple of days.

I said to my offsider, smiling – “You can speak with him”.
She looked at me with one of those  “Oh thanks for nothing” looks.

She chats for awhile, detailing the encyclopaedias, sharing the childcraft books, and the stories they had in them, then she shows him the Science set – amazing books with experiments any child can do and learn from, right down to Poldy – a learning programme for young ones –

Meanwhile, Im trying desperately to get people to stop and see what I have to offer, and getting more and more frustrated because I’m certain no one is stopping because of the homeless looking guy at our stand.

Eventually I decide to wander away from the stand and sit down as Im not doing any good.   By now, its been about half and hour that my colleague had spent with this man.

I began wondering if she might need some help to move him on, and as I sat contemplating how to approach them and tell him to go, she gets out the order form booklet and starts to fill it in…

What the???

She takes his credit card details and I think… “Yeah right – dodgey”.

He leaves.

I return to the stand and my colleague looks at me beaming – “A $3500 sale –   $1500 commission!”

Turns out he wanted to give something to his children as he had not seen them in a while.   His credit card was honoured, and the sale went through.

Those children received a gift greater than anything that man could have done for them on a daily basis.  (You see, we went to the house and showed them how to use the product to the fullest extent – they looked the learning experience!!)

My lesson – never judge a book by its cover –  you can never tell when someone has a precious heart, so always be kind for you never know what lurks behind the strangest of people.

Kindness is free, it is yours to give, so stop judging who is worthy of your kindness, and give without expectation of receiving.