Trust me I have brown eyes..
If you are wondering what brown eyes and trust have to do with each other – just go read this post I have written..
However if you are interested in learning about trusting yourself and others.. read on…
Self Trust is the most important reason you accomplish your goals and can change your life.
I know this – because for a long time, I did not trust myself…
I trusted people who had lived “dishonest” lives – well to a degree – I trusted that they would not harm me because I knew that I would not put myself in a situation to create them to desire to harm me, and since there was nothing that I wanted nor needed from them – it was easy to trust them.
There’s the catch – its when you are wanting something from people – or they are offering you something…. trust feelers or lack of trust – flares on.
No wonder I trust people, because very rarely do I want/need anything from them.. I rely on myself… and this stems probably from some deep buried issues around not trusting others…
How often have you trusted someone and they have let you down? Are you aware of the impact that incident has had on the rest of your ability to trust yourself or others.
I bet not. You didn’t even realize that because of that one time – when someone didn’t come through for you – that you now distrust anyone else –particularly in a similar situation, let alone in any other circumstance.
Teaching yourself to trust your own judgement and instincts – can be difficult – especially when your decisions can turn out 'wrong" so often… why would you trust you?
WHAT MAKES SOMEONE TRUSTWORTHY…
Stephen R Covey in his book with Rebecca R Merrill – "The SPEED of Trust – One thing that changes everything" details trust in waves.
- The first wave is – Self Trust
- The second wave – Relationship Trust
- The third, 4th & 5th waves – Stakeholder Trust
He breaks each wave into Several Core Principles that give you a greater understanding of what trust is, how we trust, and how to regain trust. It is a fascinating read – especially if you are prone to not trusting.
The first Wave Self Trust – has 4 Principles.
- Principle One – Credibility
- Principle Two – Integrity
- Principle Three – Intent
- Princilpe Four – Results.
Self trust is about upholding these four principles within yourself. It stands to reason that if one or all of these principles are not important values to you – you will not trust yourself – let alone others.
How often do you try to convince yourself that you are credible – yet your actions prove otherwise. Most of us just don’t follow through on our goals.. therefore we lack credibility – our intent is not present and therefore the results do not come.
This is why Self Trust is the NO 1 most important part of any decision making process.
Once you are able to trust your own judgement – on whether what you are about to do is nothing to be feared – and you are open to accepting the consequences of the decision – trust is no longer an issue.
We live in a strange world… you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty – yet strangely enough – we tend to think people are guilty until proven innocent. The same with trust – we assume people are untrustworthy until they prove they are trustworthy.
In my next post we shall explore these 4 principles in a little more detail…. until then TRUST YOU – and TRUST ME!