The Secret Santa Scare

OVERANALYSE – Who Me?  Let’s think about that!

All of my friends say I overanalyze things – that I put way too much thought into everything I do. What could be wrong with contemplating stuff in depth? How could searching for all possible outcomes, weighing up the pros and cons, and being prepared be bad?

Healthy or Unhealthy –  you choose

Well – when you drill into it – yes, I have examined this to… there appear to be several reasons why scrutinizing situations, circumstances and events could not be healthy.  Some realisations are not pleasant – yet what you do with this information, that is how you react and what choices you make around it make it a healthy thing to do.

For a long time, I couldn’t understand why my friends thought that I dissected everything to the inth degree. I know I analyse, reanalyze and over analyse everything that is or isn’t said or done. Until the secret Santa scare, I didn’t see that the way I did things was so unusual.

SECRET SANTA SCARE

One night just before Christmas (sounds like a fairy tale ), nothing was stirring, not even a mouse. Actually, my friends and I were out at a Christmas dinner and about to do Secret Santa. You know, the game where everyone brings along a gift of a specific value, and we all get to choose.
I started talking about (actually detailing the process would describe it better) which present to select. –
I went through the pros and cons of every present on show. I was able to offer possible predictions for all the gifts on display. – You know if you go for the one in the fancy wrapping – it could be a disguise for a cheapie present, the biggest parcel isn’t always the nicest article, but then if you take the small parcel – it’s probably just that small and nasty – but I’ve been caught before – I didn’t take the small parcel and the person who selected it got the nicest most expensive looking necklace. So you know you have to think this through – don’t you – we all want to get something we like, – then it hit me –everyone was sitting there smiling, and they said – who analyses secret Santa? – It’s supposed to be fun – so I guess it’s true I do over analyse things.

THE EFFECT OF ANALYSIS

I also realized that while I am spending my time analyzing things – I’m missing out on life. As I sat and contemplated what gift to choose – everyone else was making their selections – by the time I decided what would be the best option – someone else had selected it!!

(ps – If you’d like an analysis of Secret Santa – just email me… -as you can guess I’ve gotten quite a few dodgy secret Santa presents so I’ve thought this through…)

I don’t think I’ve always been like this – and I know I don’t overanalyze everything – I can go into a store and buy a blouse, shoes, jewellery without digging into it – Though I remember once trying to understand what – oops I have analysed it… but the point is I can go and do it without thinking things through.

WHAT’S THE PURPOSE – a whats that about question.

So I started thinking that since I analyse everything – what is the purpose of that, what it means to analyse yourself? I figured out that for me, it’s because I want to know what’s going to happen so that I can have some control over the outcome – or not so much the outcome but my reactions to the outcome. If I figure out what stuff means – then I won’t get hurt.  This process hasn’t worked that way so far – still, get hurt..  but the hurt doesn’t last as long because I am aware of the REASON it hurts..

Then I wondered – what the control thing about – why do you need to be in such tight control of what happens around you – again is so that I don’t get hurt, so that I prepared for the worst should it occur (what a horribly negative way to live- worry about the worst all the time!!) — so I’ve decided that being in control is overrated.

IT HELPS – really analysing things to death – helps

It was a bit of a scare at first, but if you think about it – you have to think things through and make the wisest choices otherwise, you end up with results that you just didn’t want. Yet, by contemplating everything – do you have any control over the outcome?              No.

HOWEVER – if you wish to know why you react to incidents – analyse it to death.  Dig, and I mean dig – way down where it hurts to figure out why you react as you do – or don’t.    Once you know that – you then have the control you desperately seek.     Not control over the situation – but control over how you handle the situation.  This then allows you to deal with the hurt in a proactive, productive way.   Oh, and once you know the REASON why you do it – you won’t have that reaction anymore.      Just do it.

MORE EFFECTS OF Analysis  – if not done completely

I didn’t realise I had been reflecting on situations and events for such a long time – then I got to thinking – where did it come from? What caused it? Have I always been like this?
I put so much time and effort – thought actually into discovering the effect my decisions or actions are going to have on my emotions and my life – that, in reality, it often held me back. I seemed to never move forward for fear of the possible outcomes – because when you delve into things, you will ultimately come up with negative results.

These are the results you tend to focus on – and essentially that stops you from doing things differently. From taking a risk, moving forward, and enjoying all life has to offer.  Now that I have solved the issue of thinking too much – I can apply choices –
a)  stop doing it, let go –  and
b)  manage my reactions    –

The result is:    I get to live life and have a life I enjoy.
The events that caused my concerns and the need to be so prepared – probably will happen again – and knowing that and being prepared for them isn’t going to stop it hurting. But at least I figured I now know I can handle it -.. and survive so I can move on…

RECOMMENDATION

My recommendation is – to think, analyse and consider all options. However, do so with an open mind. Be aware of the effect your thoughts have on your actions. If you realize that thinking things through stops you from doing something with your life – think about that. What opportunities have you missed out on because you overthought a situation? Granted, it may have also saved you some hurt, but in the long run, each time you make a choice, and it doesn’t go to plan, you learn more about yourself and still move forward.