NO DIRECTION – lost..

It has occurred to me recently that I have spent my whole life blundering along just “doing” things. I have not really had any particular direction or idea as to what I was hoping to achieve. Basically, what I wanted to achieve was to just get through whatever I was doing at the time.

This train of thought came about because I realised that there are things in my life that Im not happy with. Yet I continue to leave them be. Every so often they get me down and I think about changing things but then what would happen. Better to stick with the way things are than do anything rash. Yet if I do that – Im doing nothing – which in itself is something.

EXPERIENCE SHAPES US

Ive looked back at my life and wondered how I ended up where I am today and it became apparent that everything I have done or had “happen” to me has lead me to where I am. Some of the choices I made probably weren’t the best – but at the time they appeared to be the right choice. They have shaped me into the person I am today – essentially teaching me to not make those kind of choices next time round and also alerting me to inner strength and the ability to cope with particular situations.

For further examples of how life trains us – read my post – The Secret Santa Scare.

DOES YOUR PAST HOLD YOU BACK – or teach you.

When you look back over your life – have you learned anything from it? What experiences stand out as the most educational – if any.

Perhaps you have gone through your whole life missing out on it’s lessons. – Could that be why your life doesn’t seem to be moving forward?

Since you aren’t listening to what life has to teach you – in a sense you have been “kept back”.

Just like back when I was at school, years ago, if you didn’t develop or grasp the concepts of a grade, you got kept back to repeat the grade. Im probably showing my age here – because I doubt this happens in todays society as it is probably not politically correct. Is that what your life is doing to you now?. Trying to teach you some particular lesson or concept that is going to be beneficial to you in your future. Are you just refusing to listen and learn?

Do you feel like the same thing is happening over and over? Nothing in your life has changed. You still live in the same town, in the same house, going to the same job, mixing with the same people – not experiencing anything new or exciting?

Do you keep finding unsatisfactory jobs, relationships, friendships, experiences?

If you were to assess your life on a scale of 1 – 10 – where would you rate it. Have you achieved all that you set out to achieve. Did you actually set out to achieve anything in the first place? Have you tried and failed – and given up. Have bad experiences stopped you from doing something different.

COULD YOUR LIFE HAVE TAUGHT YOU SOMETHING/ANYTHING?

During your life you have been fortunate to have experiences that were designed to enlighten you in some way. These experiences would be the ones that you would prefer to forget. Those things that hurt, embarrased, shamed, or just plain shouldnt have happened. Situations that if you were in them again – you MAY but probably wouldn’t – do differently.

Have you considered what you might be able to get out of a particular circumstance that could make your life easier, more worthwhile or simpler. Perhaps it may be something that you may not be able to use – but you could offer to others. A particular experience that the knowledge you gained could be useful to others.

Consider where you are in your life – is it where you want to be. Have your decisions to do or not do particular things been based on past experiences or events that influenced you? – Don’t just write that question off with a “No”. Really drill into that – you may be surprised.
Perhaps it hasn’t been about decisions that you have made – but look at your life and see if you can see connections between past experiences and what you are doing now.

For example – at age 11, I lost my nana. At 18 I lost two best friends in a car accident. It wasn’t only until a much later age, when I had to deal with more death that I realized the impact those 3 earlier effects had on my outlook toward death, grief and loss. Now l have a particular view point about this topic that gets me through similar situations. That experience combined with other learning experience in my life have given me the ability to deal with situations without a large amount of stress or pain.

I was also able to apply the lessons I learned around my grief and loss through death, to my divorce and what I was experiencing there. You will still get similar life experiences over and over – but through your awareness of the your reactions to situations you can develop a better sense of self and find circumstances easier to deal with.

Life does prepare you for any event… you just have to be a diligent student and prepared to learn.